Leralara

What makes you nervous?

In the past, what unsettled me were moments before stepping into the unknown —meeting a new client, collaborating with an unfamiliar team, or setting out on an unfamiliar journey overseas alone.

My nerves then were merely butterflies, anticipatory excitement before a blind date, or gathering courage to approach a potential new friend.

Now, my anxieties run deeper, more complex. No longer trivial, they carry the weight of real consequence. I yearn for those lighter days of self-focused worries.

Today, my significant concerns include:

1. The possibility of my own demise.

2. The sobering awareness that my daughters depend solely on me.

3. My daughter’s disability, and fears her unique beauty might be overlooked.

4. The threats of secondary cancers and the lingering effects of chemotherapy.

5. Concerns for my daughters’ well-being, especially the elder’s unnoticed needs.

6. The trials of adolescence, from junior high to the upheaval of hormones.

7. The existential dread of losing hope and stability.

I could dwell on these fears or on painful past rifts—like the tumultuous relationship with my mother before her passing, marred by despair. But this would be foolish.

Instead, I choose to focus on:

• Embracing possibilities.

• Building resilient systems with intent and purpose.

• Welcoming serendipitous moments and the mysterious designs of fate.

• Deepening self-awareness.

• Cultivating a growth mindset.

• Practicing mercy and grace.

• Maintaining patience.

• Having faith in myself, especially when others doubt.

• Seizing every opportunity for renewal.

These are my new cornerstones, the foundations from which I draw strength and seek tranquility amid life’s tumult.”